For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the inability to reach it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A clear conscience is frequently the sign of a bad memory.